This Christmas, I was fortunate enough to spend the day with beautiful people. I ate delicious food and sipped sweet wine, laughed with family and friends, and exchanged gifts with loved ones. I spent a lot of December stressing, scrambling for gifts, and planning out how I would be able to visit everyone I wanted to see during the holidays. Finally, the holiday was here and all seemed successful.
That was until the evening of Christmas when I started my car and it was obvious that I wasn’t going to be able to make it home. I could tell the engine was having a difficult time staying on, the lights were flickering, the check engine light was on, and there was a weird sound that I had never heard before. I became very upset because it seemed that car troubles follow me everywhere, and it wasn’t the first time my car had broken down on Christmas. Fortunately, this time I was with family and had a place to stay. The next morning, I took it to a local mechanic and had it repaired. I was relieved when it was ready by 2 in the afternoon so my boyfriend and I would both be able to make it to work.
However, the night before when all of this was happening, I did not feel so relieved. In fact, I felt defeated. I got upset because I had just gotten this car a few months ago and I have been doing everything I can to keep it in good condition. I felt frustrated with life and the unpredictability of it all. I called my dad to tell him about the unfortunate situation and he said what he always says, “Well baby, that’s life.”
Negative, scary questions were swimming around my mind until I was eventually able to fall asleep.
“Why do these situations always happen to me?”
“Why can’t I ever seem to get ahead?”
“How am I going to afford this?”
“If life is always so stressful, unpredictable, and frustrating, what’s the point of it all?”
Looking back on how I felt during the situation has made me realize I really want to work on going with the flow. Sometimes you have to take a step back. You have to remove yourself from your immediate situation and remind yourself that everything is going to be okay.
I have always felt connected to water and I think I could learn a lot about going with the flow from it. A river still flows when there is something in the way, it simply goes around the object. The currents may change direction because of the wind, but they still keep moving. Water boils when it’s hot or freezes when it’s cold, but it still exists. Water is not afraid of unpredictability or change, it simply goes with the flow.
I have a lot of intentions for the new year. I think that in order to successfully manifest these intentions, I first have to learn how to let go and not try to control all aspects. Whatever wants to leave I will let go of and whatever wants to come my way I will accept. I truly believe that 2019 has a lot to offer and I hope to experience this new year one moment at a time.